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Wednesday, 18 July 2012

The Art of Wifehood - lessons from a 'rib' (part 1)

After God created the man, God decided to create ‘...an help, meet for him’. Not a HOUSE help but a help, meet. That is to say ‘an aid that would be a counterpart/proper for the man’. (I used the Hebrew translation to see meaning of original words used). Now to do this, he caused man to fall into a deep sleep and took out a ‘rib’ and from this fashioned a woman. (Note: the Rib is a pretty curvy bone...ergo...:D) Now, God is a deliberate God and there was a reason God chose the rib, he did this as a way of portraying the role of a woman.

          A woman has 3 specific roles:

   1. Woman, you are your husband's COVERING.

    The Rib surrounds the chest enabling lungs to expand thus facilitate breathing by expanding the chest cavity

It covers everything. It hides every deformity, every defect, every weakness in the organs, the rib covers. If someone says they have a heart defect for example, the rib does not open up to show it. No matter how bad, the protective ribcage remains and even after it is fixed it still stays. Woman, cover his faults just like the ribs protect a defective heart. Now, I didn’t say accept it, I said cover it. The difference? Accept means to regard as proper which is in effect, pretending   a problem doesn't exist, Cover on the other hand means to protect or conceal or to defend meaning you are aware there is a problem but rather than airing dirty laundry you choose to cover it while it is sorted out. Woman, don’t go blabbing every single fault your man has. Don’t go castigating and criticising him, after all you chose him and you saw the faults. Instead cover him and speak well of him.  Take a leaf from Abigail's book, even though Nabal was wrong, she took off after those who would do him harm, she covered him and thus saved his life, she didn't sit around calling him names. The Proverbs 31 woman, the bible says, ‘...she will do him good and not evil’.

BUT in covering him or his faults do not make him feel it is all right to be lazy or rude or whatever. See, the rib surrounds the chest but in a manner that enables the lungs to expand. It ensures that the lungs have enough room to expand but it does not dictate the level of expansion it simply gives it room to grow. Cover him but give him the room to grow ON HIS OWN.  When you cover bread dough, because of the ingredients in it under the right conditions, it will rise without your interference. Same principle, cover him, speak good of him ALWAYS, in private mention with love and respect to him any areas you feel he can improve on and then give him room to act on it in his own way. Woman, you have no right whatsoever to demand change from any man. Who died and made you God? Give him room to grow into the man he is meant to be. 

The rib in carrying out it's function also enables breathing. This, I'm sure you will agree is vital for life. In covering him, DO NOT smother him. Abeg, please, let the guy breathe and relax. If he says ‘Sweetheart, the guys and I are heading out’...give him a kiss full of promise, call the girls up and go hang out or settle down and catch up on the sleep you've missed (*wink*) or just do something on your own, whatever it is do not begrudge him time on his own. As John Gray (author: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus) says ‘Men are like rubber bands. When they pull away, they can stretch only so far before they come springing back.’ GIVE HIM SPACE, space to miss you, space to value what he has with you, space to reassert his autonomy and space to remember why HE chose YOU. Space. Stop calling every second ‘just to make sure he’s ok’, stop checking his phone and please STOP CLINGING. In time you’ll make his skin crawl. Tell me ladies, if you bought two face creams to try out and one felt really oily and sticky, but the other felt airy and light...which would you keep? I know which I would choose. If he truly loves you, you have nothing to fear, he’s YOURS....

(to be continued)...

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