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Thursday, 19 July 2012

The Art of Wifehood - lessons from a 'rib' (part 2)

And while we are on the subject, WOMAN shut it! I mean it, put a cork in it. 

Let me explain a bit what I mean by covering and why I said shut it. When you have laundry to do, you don’t go yelling and announcing that all your clothes are dirty and you need to launder them. Even to a close friend the most is probably ‘oh I was just doing some laundry’ or I’m about to do my laundry if they catch you doing it, or I will be doing laundry so I can’t make that time etc. You do not list every item of clothing you are laundering or why. When I was in Uni (I feel old), I would put my laundry in the prettiest bag I could find and go to the laundry room, wash and dry and REPLACE them in the same bag. Ladies, note the prettiest boys are usually the ones that are full of it and need a lot of work, but do you know what, the prettiest ones when they get their act together with the right person with the right conditions and timing have the potential to also be the best. NOTE: After you wash clothes, you leave them to dry. When you talk a little bit, (shut it) leave the man to God and leave him to sort himself out. If you keep checking the clothes they take longer to dry out and may not dry as well as if you'd left them to run their natural course. Keep prodding hubby to change and don't be surprised if he gets irritated and/or it seems to take a lifetime and then some before you see any change. Also when baking a cake you NEVER open the oven halfway even if to check the progress else it will fall and never rise properly even if it had risen. When you see a change or something important is happening, sometimes the best thing you can do for hubby is to shut it and pray that it gets better and is sustained . Don't mention that he is neater now on day 1 of him picking up after himself, give him time to improve himself his own way, Then appreciate the effort and praise him, don't go trying to make him change another thing. YOUR HUSBAND IS NOT ANOTHER HOME IMPROVEMENT PROJECT.

People seeing me walking with a pretty bag never knew I had laundry to do. It’s the same, people seeing you should not be able to tell that you feel like strangling him at that moment (it happens...lol). Wait until you are both together indoors and then privately have it out. If someone comes by, you don’t pull out the laundry from the machine or the bucket, you stop and hide it in the bathroom or leave the machine on and close the door of the laundry room and then when they go you get back to it.

Again, if you have a visitor when you both are having a heated discussion, no matter how close to you and your hubby, they should not be able to tell. Now, I don’t know about you, but when I wash, I generally don’t dump everything in and wash, I separate colours, textures, type of materials and I use a specific amount of soap depending on volume as well as specific temperature of water AND it lasts for a specific time. Deal with whatever it is appropriately, don’t make a mountain out of a molehill and stop trying to squash a mountain to look like a molehill. Ladies, keeping a grudge just makes you bitter and petty and very unattractive. Hash it out, argue, sort it and MOVE ON. Stop reminding him every argument after of what he did before. Oh and the only way your clothes will stay clean is when they are never worn, the only way any human being is without fault is if they are dead. Only God is perfect, DEAL WITH IT! And when you are hashing it out, the whole world does not have to hear. When a washing machine is on, if it is a good one, the only way you can tell is if you see it running. The only way a neighbour can tell you’ve been doing some washing is usually when you have to spread your clean clothes to dry and even at that you don’t spread your delicates for public viewing. The only thing people should see is a man (and a woman) who has gotten better and matured like fine wine. You see when you give him room he will keep improving (as should you because it is a two way street) and the evidence will be seen by all around. But it not every improvement the world has to know (e.g he makes love to me so much better than before...please we really do not need to know that!). You see when you are wearing proper underwear, I may not see it but I can tell. Same thing. When everything in your private relationship with hubby is going well, it will reflect in him and his work, his friendships and activities. (He doesn’t have to drink to a stupor or constantly visit restaurants).

NOTE: The Right Conditions and Processes will always produce the Right Results.

(That being said, any man that lays a finger on a woman is not a man, make sure you check out all the signs and labels before you pay the price. Don't cover or condone a man who lays his finger on you. If he does, don't let it progress to marriage, you cannot change this, only God can)

(There's more....)

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